Ringsend & District Response to Drugs
The Spellman Centre
I was born and raised in Ringsend and I was the youngest of six. I have three sisters and two brothers but I was the only one who ended up on drugs. Growing up as a kid I was always very shy and never had much confidence in myself. I wasn’t very good in school never having much self-belief, feeling that I wasn’t good enough. When I was in secondary I was expelled in 3rd year. Like most of my peers we started messing around with drugs such as Tip-ex, glue and solvents. This led me to harder drugs such as Hash, Tablets, Phy and Heroin. It wasn’t long before my life became unmanageable and out of control. It was at this time I started picking up charges from the police. My first couple of charges were drink related and I ended up in Spike Island for my 18th Birthday. It was when I came out of prison that I really became heavily involved with Heroin. It was only a matter of time before I picked up more charges for theft and selling drugs, this was to feed my habit. A couple of years past and everything had spiralled. Nothing can be good while you’re on gear. I had lost my family and most of my friends while I was strung out. For years I knew I was in trouble I just hadn’t got the courage to do anything about it. By this stage I was terrified and always living in fear. The drugs had brought me to a horrible place in my life. Then I heard of RDRD and the help they were giving people in the area. I knew a lot of the lads who were linked in with them but I just hadn’t got the courage to go in and see anyone to get help. I was afraid that all my mates would see me going in to RDRD and think that I couldn’t hack it out there anymore. My first contact with RDRD was for selling drugs. The police raided my flat and found the drugs. When Dublin City Council found out they wanted to evict me. I knew I had to do something about my drug use. This meant I had to swallow my pride and put my hand out for help. Even this time I still found it hard. I was missing appointments but when the staff noticed they arranged to work on an outreach basis with me. If it wasn’t for this I can honestly say I would not be where I am today because I let the fear control my life. I would like to thank all the people who helped me get where I am today.
Peoples Journey's and Testimonials
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I have been going to The Spellman Centre for the last 3 years. I first came through their doors in April 2011 when I was addicted to heroin and benzo’s. I was addicted to heroin for 3 years at this stage and was 35 years old when I began taking heroin after having problems in my personal life. I tried to get off heroin myself by numerous times by trying different drugs and this is how I became addicted to benzo’s as well. For some reason I just couldn’t get off the drugs I was taking. All I could manage at most was a few days clean and as soon as the sickness was over I’d pick it up again. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to stop, and what the driving force behind making me use was. I was losing everything. My family didn’t know what to do and our relationship was at a low. They were looking at their son and their brother killing himself before their eyes and were powerless in the situation. My physical and mental health was very bad. I couldn’t see a way out of this mess. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me after working all my life and being a father. This was not part of my plan. I needed help. I found out about RDRD (The Spellman Centre) by a person who works in the addiction services and they made me an appointment. I remember coming through the doors for the first time, I was a nervous wreck full of fear. I was assigned a key worker and he brought me into a room and I told him what I was taking and how I was feeling. He understood everything I was going through and after our chat he shook my hand, hugged me and told me everything was going to be ok. For the first time in a long time I had hope back in my life. He told me to come back to the centre the next day and we would make a plan to move forward. We made a plan to get off the benzo’s and I went into a clinic to get off the heroin. I went to the centre every day and got help from everyone on the staff around different things. It felt like a home away from home. I attended the addict support group every Tuesday night and after 4 months I was ready to go into a detox centre to get off the methadone. When I got out I joined the Drug Free programme in RDRD, where they showed me how to live a drug free life. As part of group therapy we did workshops and education around addiction. Unfortunately I had a relapse shortly after I got out of detox but my keyworker and the rest of the staff rallied around me and got me into treatment for the next four months. In there I learned more about myself and my addiction and when I left I re-joined the drug free programme and am still in it to this day. Today no matter what problems I have going on in my life I have someone to talk to, someone to help me out with whatever I need.
Addiction doesn’t just stop with the addict it effects whole families too and so my mother attends family support where she learns to cope with the situation and she has someone to talk to and get advice and support from, which has been a major help to her for the last three and a half years. I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am for all the help I’ve gotten since I came into RDRD. The staff stood behind me through good times and the very bad times. They had faith in me when I didn’t have faith in myself. When I was down they helped me back onto my feet. Today I have hope and peace of mind again. I’ll be forever grateful to my keyworker who was with me from day one, for my new keyworker who works with me on a daily basis and for the family support who helped my mother from the beginning as well, and finally to all the rest of the staff who have helped me on my journey. I don’t know where I would be today or if I’d even still be alive if I hadn’t come to RDRD.
I was on drugs for most of my life. I was always switching and changing drugs until I found my drug of choice which was heroin. Heroin gave me a feeling no other drug gave me. It made me forget all the problems in my life. While on heroin my life just passed me by I never fulfilled any dreams or goals as heroin took everything from me. I went on a methadone program in Irishtown which at the time I thought was a great idea. Now I was getting free drugs. I was getting methadone for nothing. Soon enough I lied to the doctor telling him I needed more as I was still using heroin so I needed my methadone dose to be increased to stop the need for heroin. Here I was thinking I was a smart addict pulling the wool over the doctor’s eyes, little did I know I was getting a new drug habit. I would soon be looking for other prescription drugs from the doctor. I would go in and lie and say I was depressed and I couldn’t sleep and soon enough I was being prescribed valium and sleeping tablets. Now I had another drug problem but I still thought this was great. All I was concerned about was that I was now getting more drugs and they were all free. I was on methadone for 15 years and prescription drugs for 13 years I was also still using heroin and other drugs while on methadone and prescription drugs. In 2005 I had stopped taking methadone myself by detoxing with a doctor but then my heroin problem became worse. I was never given any information or support from the doctor. It was not until 3 years later that I realised I needed help with my drug problem so I phoned The Spellman Centre to seek help. I was very frightened all I wanted to do was stop using. After the first time I came into the Spellman I felt so comfortable that I knew this was the place that was going change my life. I had lost over half of my life to drugs and I was sick of it. At this stage I wanted my life back. I could barely remember my life before drugs but now I was starting to believe that it was possible to have one after them. The Spellman Centre helped get treatment centre was I was detoxed from all drugs. After this I went into further treatment to address my drug addiction. I also go to the addicts support group which as helped me cope with life. My family use the family support groups because it’s not only me affected by my drug use. Coming into the Spellman Centre was the best thing I have ever done with my life. By walking through the doors I have made a huge difference to my life. I would even go as far as to say that my decision to do so has given me my life back. I have learned to take personal responsibility and stand on my own two feet. My confidence has grown and I have an amazing relationship back with my family. Today I have my families trust back but most of all I have my life back. I have gone back to education and have my own home. Even after 3 years I still use the various supports that I have put in place such as addict support groups, one to one keyworking sessions and go to narcotics anonymous meetings, all of which help keep my life on track.